Wilde in the Office

The camera fades in to a sign on a white door saying 'Christina Chase'.
The door opens. The camera enters.
A large desk is in front of the camera with the plaque 'Ms. Christina Chase GM' engraved in to it.
There is a fern in the corner and various certificated on the wall. A figure comes in from the side of the room. We zoom in on their boots. Their shapely legs. Their...glorious mustache.
Its Rick Wilde. Who grins at the camera.

Rick Wilde: You were expecting someone else?

He boots the spinning black leather chair of Christina Chase to the floor and replaces it with his own dented steel chair before sitting down, putting his boots on the desk and straightening out his hat. He smiles an eerily enthusiastic smile and speaks in almost patronizingly friendly and apologetic tone.

Hiiiii Christina
I just wanted to say sorry. Now it may not mean a lot to you for me to say sorry. But ask Bally if I say sorry for flogging him when he breaks posture, ask Epic Size if I'm sorry for scaring him out of this industry, ask McHammer if I'm sorry for beating him so bad no ones seen him since.
I'm not a man to apologise often and I suggest you don't take this apology lightly.
Whatever it is I've done to offend you I'm truly, deeply, profoundly sorry.
Sorry for winning the title at the last pay per view when NO ONE believed in me.
Sorry for repeatedly winning when the odds are stacked against me.
Sorry for not giving up when you stack me against giants, freaks, and my own partner.

But most importantly...sorry what I'm about to do to your toyboy Mr. Naughty!

He got the better of me the other night
But your plan has back fired...
Now he's beat me once and Bally once, but we've had the opportunity to see what he's got.
And if you think I'm going to lie down for a three second tan on this one, you're wrong.
If you think that I'm going to submit before anything breaks, you're wrong.
If you think I won't use EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK.......well frankly I don't know how you managed to get the job here...or at least not in a way I can explain in PG terms...

Smirks and holds his hands together

Look, I'm being overly harsh.
Something my therapist says I need to work on... at least I think he said something like that...

He's started to lose a few teeth lately...

Strokes his knuckles as if they're sore

I can't stay mad at you. There's been fewer rules without Kuzan around...
And I have used that to my advantage...
BUT

His face becomes deadly serious, he takes his feet off the desk and leans forward elbows on the table, fingers wrangling each other. He points at the camera.

If you think for a minute I will have any loyalty to you if I lose this title, you are sorely mistaken.
Kuzan wasn't the smartest cookie in the jar, but even a broken clock is right twice a day.
He gave me the chance to prove myself here. He let me show H.O.W my potential when I beat my first PPV opponent out the damn company.
So thats something we have in common...but I didn't need any damn henchmen to do my dirty work!

I have never had Bally do anything for me. He is my friend, he is my protege, he is my future monster, and no matter who wins at Top Gear...
Season 3 is the season of the Phoenix!

Now on to Adam.
Adam Naughty. I have a ton of respect for you. But I'm not done being Concept champion. Not by a long shot.
See I'll be losing this title...

He laughs wryly to himself and strokes his mustache

Sorry... I mean HANDING OVER this title. When I'm going for the next title.
But its just starting to feel....RIGHT.

You are the evolution of this company. But evolution takes MILLIONS of years... round about the time I might actually want to get rid of a title or two.
There's only so much gold one can carry. This title...doesn't have as much gold as some of the others, but its 11 solid pounds of blood, sweat and tears.
What it may lack in physical weight, it more than makes up for in emotional baggage already.

TWO people have held this title. Bally held it from the end of Season 1 to the start of Season 2.
And I've held it ALL of this season and will continue to hold it till either I want the next belt or rigor mortis sets in and you have to pry it from my cold dead hands!

He stares a deathly stare in to the camera before breaking in to a smile

Which brings me nicely to Bally boy

He reaches under the desk for a beer which he cracks open with his teeth

Bally Boy. The future is yours but you're not quite there yet.
Season 3 will be your season, but you won't need my title for that to be true.
Its like the damn Wizard of Oz....
You don't need glory Bally Boy, you've had glory in you all along.

But know this...

Takes a swig

You don't need to be a weatherman to know which way the wind blows
I made you...I know how to stop you.
I built you to be my competition here in H.O.W.
And we agreed you'd get a rematch at Top Gear.
It will however be the last rematch you have with me.
We need to get you back in to training harder.
I know what motivates you, what fuels you.
What better way to show you how far you've come, and yet how far you have to go by having a good old fashioned, knock down, drag out brawl at the Pay Per View and mixing it in with some of the best technical wrestling this company has seen because we have to face facts here gentlemen...

Rick Wilde, Bally boy and Adam Naughty are some of the best technical wrestlers this company has to offer. And normally, the champion has a disadvantage going in to a triple threat match but you see...

Finishes his beer and gets off the chair. Folds it up as the camera zooms on the logo, which Rick sticks his face in front of saying 'Property of the Snake Pit'

I'm not afraid to get a bit WILDE!

Laughs maniacally as he props us the chair and exits the office

Bally walks into the office with a grin on his face

Bally: Rick my buddy, had a feeling i would find you in here, when i checked the snake pit and found it empty. i have a proposition for you buddy. Tonights title match was supposed to be about us, 1 on 1, mano a mano for the concept championship. Yet this Christina Chase woman, where the hell does she get off putting Naughty in here. i mean he isnt even in our league. so tonight i suggest me and you take him out as a team, and when he is well and truly out of the question. Then we go at it, and then may the better man walk out with that title we both hold so dear?



(there is more to come but i want to play it off Rick's reactions)

Bally: He may be the best, but we can still best him. he cannot overcome our conbined techical brillaince, the Phoenix will run Wilde on him. However. what makes you think you should keep the title? the title would be just as good in my hands Rick and you know it. I think im beginning to see things abit clearer now, you lured me over to the dark side. you trained me, but you never once intended to give me a fair shot at that title did you? you just wanted me as your enforcer, you know im the only person in this company who can rival you, and you wanted to make sure you would never lose that title to me. well thats not going to happen. Tonight, i WILL take that title away from you. mark my words. I will regain MY High Octane Wrestling Concept Championship, and to make sure of that....

Bally's sentence trails off as he lunges at his mentor catching him by surprise and flooring him before locking in his patented Technically Snapped.

Bally: you see Rick, i knew this was going to happen eventually, so i have been watching you, scoping out your weakness. Now, only 1 man in this company can best you in a war. i hope your ready, because this Phoenix, is going to BREAK you Rick.

Bally gets off Rick and walks out laughing maniacally.

Inserted for 45/1/12 Top Gear